Golden Girl Jodie Foster Shines a Spotlight on her Sandwich Generation Role

January 15, 2013

Comments

70th Annual Golden Globe Awards held at the Beverly Hilton HotelSunday night was Jodie Foster’s night as she took the stage at the annual Golden Globe Awards to accept the Cecil B. DeMille Award for a Lifetime Achievement in Film.  For more than 7 minutes she commanded the stage and a worldwide audience in a heartfelt stream of consciousness as this most private of celebrities shared emotional moments in the same way she has shared her art with us through her riveting film performances for four decades.

But of all the things Foster revealed, the most emotional moment came as she spoke of her mother, Evelyn.  She talked directly into the camera as if the crowded room of Hollywood luminaries and millions of viewers at home went out of focus and she was speaking to the single mom who held her 50-year-old daughter’s hand through show business since she was three years old.

“Mom I know you’re inside those blue eyes somewhere and that there are so many things you won’t understand tonight,” said a teary Foster. “But this is the only important one to take in:  I love you, I love you, I love you.  And I hope that if I say this three times, it will magically and perfectly enter into your soul, fill you with grace and the joy of knowing that you did good in this life.  You’re a great mom. Please take that with you when you’re finally OK to go.”

This revelation of her 84-year-old mother’s Alzheimer’s disease (although she never said “Alzheimer’s”) was not the first time Foster has talked about her mother’s illness but it was the most high profile and profoundly public acknowledgement of her Sandwich Generation caregiving role. Her young sons, Charles and Kit, were in the audience as their proud mom talked of her boys being the reason she is inspired while she also said her mother was the “greatest influence of my life.”

In a 2010 interview with the Daily Mail in the UK, she said about her mother’s illness, “She’s really a new person, not the mom I grew up with, and I have a real nostalgia for who she was. She spent years and years alone because she never remarried after my father left and she raised us by herself.  She used to say: ‘I’m an only child so I prefer to be alone,’ and she didn’t keep up with her friends.”

According to the Alzheimer’s Association, more than 5 million Americans and 36 million people worldwide are diagnosed with dementia and an additional 15 million Americans care for someone with dementia or Alzheimer’s disease (the most common type of dementia).  In fact, every 68 seconds someone new develops the disease and while early on-set Alzheimer’s can be diagnosed when someone is 30, 40 or 50, one out of every two people age 85 or older will develop dementia.

Jodie Foster joins the ranks of the 24 million Sandwich Generation caregivers – those caring for children still at home while simultaneously caring for an older parent – including high-profile caregivers such as Diane Keaton, Maria Shriver, Brooke Shields, Joan Lunden and Holly Robinson Peete.

While some caregivers of those with Alzheimer’s find it hard or almost impossible to care for their loved one at home because of violent outbursts, sundowning (extreme paranoia and frightfulness that can including screaming that begins at dusk) or wandering off, Foster has stated she will keep her mom in her home as long as possible.

Jodie-Foster-mother-picWhen asked in an interview if she would consider seeking residential care for her mother, she said, “Oh God no way. I’m going to feel good — I’m going to feel that the end honored her and that she didn’t have to lose her dignity.

“Dementia is an interesting thing,” continued Foster. “It’s the hardest thing I’ve been through and yet also strangely sacred… I’m just here to care for her. I have no axe to grind. Mine will be the last face she sees.”

Jodie Foster has never wished to be a symbol for her choices in life: Child actor free of scandal (if you don’t count the pre-pubescent prostitute she played in Taxi Driver which had some people up in arms); college co-ed career disrupted by a would-be presidential assassin (that forced her even further into her privacy shell); actor turned director (who doesn’t do vanity projects but thoughtful films that speak from the heart); but I would love it if the Sandwich Generation could count on Jodie to continue to raise awareness for a role many of us will play in life: caregiver.

Related Posts

Oscar Sunday Special: Caregiving and the Movies

Oscar Sunday Special: Caregiving and the Movies

The fashion, the fans and the best films of 2023 gathered in La La Land March 10 to hear, “And the Oscar goes to . . .” In celebration of Oscar Sunday, we have compiled our list of best films that capture the many ways we become caregivers and how it can provide...

“The One About Matthew Perry and His Lesson on Loneliness”

“The One About Matthew Perry and His Lesson on Loneliness”

Gerontologist and author, Sherri Snelling, writes that actor Matthew Perry’s recent death was not a result of alcohol or drugs, it was about loneliness. The tragic part was he was just learning to find meaning in life and was building a spiritual core when the it all came to a too-sudden end.

1 Comments

1 Comment

  1. Vicki

    Great article Sherri – I was captivated by Jodi Foster’s “speech” and have a tremendous amount of respect for her. Thanks for sharing!

    Reply

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Celebrity Caregiver Interviews - [...] Jodie Foster     Marg Helgenberger                            …
  2. Caregiving Goes to the Oscars - [...] Jodie Foster – Golden Girl Shines a Spotlight on Her Sandwich Generation Role [...]
  3. Celebrity Spotlight - […] Jodie Foster – Golden Girl Shines a Spotlight on Her Sandwich Generation Role (1989 Oscar winner for The Accused, 1982 Oscar…
  4. Celebrity Spotlight – A Cast of Caregivers - […] Jodie Foster – Golden Girl Shines a Spotlight on Her Sandwich Generation Role […]
  5. Caregiving Goes to the Movies – Oscar Sunday - […] Jodie Foster – Golden Girl Shines a Spotlight on Her Sandwich Generation Role […]
  6. November – We Celebrate National Caregiver Month - […] Jodie Foster – Golden Girl Shines a Spotlight on Her Sandwich Generation Role […]

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *